#singlegirlproblems

i'm not really one to be blogging about this kind of shiz. in fact, lately i'm not even one to blog at a frequent rate. buuuut, it's hitting me hard like a giant rock hitting my whole body and i just felt the need to complain to the cyberworld.

guys....i'm single and i actually, kind of really hate it. for the past couple years, i haven't really cared that i was single. i was fine with it. i accepted it. i had multiple crushes on multiple boys, and i was fine that probably nothing would ever happen between me and these boys. these feelings went on for two whole years (twenty, if you count my whole life of never being in any sort of relationship...ha). and then my junior year of college happened. and part of it also might be that i go to byu, where i'm pretty sure 90% of girls are married by age 20. i plan to NOT be one of these girls, but obviously i have to date someone before i get married, right? but i think i've caught some kind of byu disease and it's slightly difficult to overcome. i'm sick, cough cough. ANYWHO...within like the first month of this semester, all of my closest friends had boyfriends/boys, and then i'm just over here like "i love food..." (c/o pinterest quotes).

and i'm like really happy for my friends. they all seem super happy and in love and what not. but then i get jealous of this love that's going around and sometimes i'm like "well who am i gonna hang out with?" and i usually find people. i have other people. but sometimes i like hanging out with them. but then i can't...but it's fine.

and then i gave it more thought. i'm pretty sure i'm single because i'm really picky. not just like really picky, but like REALLY picky. i kind of really only want to date guys that ski. i've been this way since i could drive myself up to snowbird. but it also just can't be any guy that skis. he has to #getatmylevel or be better then me. cause i like a challenge. i hate waiting for people. i like skiing hard things. sorry i'm not sorry that i'm really good at skiing. actually i'm not...well i am. BUT I JUST WANT A FREAKING GUY TO SHRED THE SLOPES WITH. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR?
i'd also prefer them to be tall. and funny. and somewhat intelligent. and preferably attractive.

SO...tall, funny, attractive, smart boy that is super good at skiing, if you're out there, feel free to get at me.

summer bucket list

i recently agreed to illustrate the children's book my friend is writing. it's gonna be tough, but i'm actually really excited because i think it's going to work out. anywho... i've been messing around with my paints and stuff for the book, and i painted up a bucket list for this summer. well actually i just painted up the one i had already made a few weeks ago. i hope to finish it this summer. i've been feeling extremely lazy lately, so i think this will motivate me to do stuff and remove myself from my basement where i watch netflix, eat delicious crap food, draw things, and continue my unfortunately long streak of anti-socialness. so here's to hoping i have a pretty decent summer.

QUOTE OF THE DAY (actually more like...of my life): "i have a boyfriend. his first name is net. and his last name is flix." i said this on our family walk early this evening when my sister joked that the weird kid across the street should ask me out. i really hope he doesn't...

i need to get out more.

after a six hour car ride.

[it should have been four. stupid traffic.]

and much consideration.

i have finally come up with my top ten favorite bands.

one: regina spektor

two: metric

three: beirut

four: bon iver

five: the shins

six: mumford + sons

seven: grizzly bear

eight: vampire weekend

nine: she + him

ten: ratatat

i love and appreciate all sorts of music.

and have tons of favorite songs by other artists.

but these are my favorite bands/artists.

and i listen to them all the time.

you might be wondering: why is this loser so obsessed with music lately?

well, i can answer that for you.

it’s one of the only things getting me through college right now. music is my escape from all the reading, the constant pressure of class, the whole social aspect of it all. i don’t mind byu, but i hate provo.

i love salt lake too much.

and maybe i’m just familiar with salt lake and don’t want to accept the fact that i live in provo.

i just miss skiing. and familiarity. and my family.

the president of byu freaked me out today.

i went to the devotional today [he spoke].

and basically the message i got was this:

you come to byu to get married and start an eternal family and live up to the plan of salvation.

screw marriage. i’m only eighteen.

to continue with off subject topics... 

i have two goals to reach to my college experience most memorable.

one: blow my rape whistle and scream RAPE at the top of my lungs in a middle of a crowd and just run off.

two: put portable speakers in my backpack. BLAST ‘rebel girl’ by bikini kill. and ride a razor scooter around campus.

but oh how i wish i had the confidence to do such things. 

in my mind i would have done it by now.

but in all honesty, i just feel like i don’t have the courage. sucks for me. because i would be the coolest girl on campus.

one day though. and i will do it. i'm not just saying this.

i've realized that all i do is listen to music and blog about my life and how i don't do anything.

i need to get out more.